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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End


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Everything posted by Sgriob

  1. Donald Trump didn't miss a beat. His first instinct was to suggest that the long-form birth certificate is a forgery. His second, milliseconds later, was to rev up doubts about Obama's scholastic abilities: “I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I’m thinking about it, I’m certainly looking into it. Let him show his records.” So now the thrust is that Obama is (like most blacks) not very smart. And he had conspiratorial help to get through college. Good luck with that, Donald, you nasty, thick little racist you.
  2. I was depressed by the shows of jubilance in America's streets. Such displays are unseemly and tacky, and remind me too much of footage of Middle Easterners dancing in the streets after 9/11. We should be better than that. Bin Laden had an easier exit than he deserved. In movies it's always an anti-climax when the Bad Guy drops dead with a single shot to the head. I prefer it when he/she has a soul-crushing revelation of how wrong he/she had been. But in real life even Thatcher's kind of moral monster doesn't have such epiphanies. I won't be happy when she dies, but I most certainly won't be sorry.
  3. No need for guilt, Harps. Regardless of the humanity of the sentiment, MLK never said it. Magician Penn Jillette was first to Twitter the supposed quote yesterday, and knowing him it's quite possibly one of his hoaxes. The man's an expert manipulator and an authority on the madness of crowds.
  4. Thanks, that's very generous of you.
  5. It is. I liberated an old boom-box from the wormhole known as the garage, and found a box of about 100 tapes. They sound as good as new. It was actually fun (for a while) cleaning the garage and bopping to the oldies*. I'm keeping them. (*Yes, I know. That image appalls even me. I can't stand watching greybeards in blue jeans trying to disco with cool. My kids used to curl up in horror when I disciplined them with such a threat. "Do as I say or your mum and I will demonstrate songs and dances of the Sixties in front of your friends.")
  6. And watch the President's face when Seth Meyers jokes about Bin Laden having a show on Cspan. He had already set in motion the operation that was to kill the al Quaeda leader a few hours later. This man is so far ahead of his political opponents that it has made them insane with frustration and envy.
  7. Agree with your first point, Thomas. By accomplishing the mission that stymied Bush, Obama has assured himself of another four years. The Repugnants are secretly livid. But I think 'reprisals' is the wrong word. Terrorist attacks will continue whatever happens. These evil people already have all the excuses they need for non-stop guerilla war.
  8. Best line from the White House Correspondents' dinner last night: ‘Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.’ President Obama's speech, BRW, was brilliant. They called Clinton a rock star. This guy is a rock star with moral integrity.
  9. The first American word I learned was 'beer.' At first whenever I asked for a beer I'd get 'whut?' in reply. I had to learn to say 'bee-yurr.' 'Geeza pint' never worked either.
  10. I've been away for forty plus years. When I'm home I'm told my accent is obviously Scots but regionally unplaceable ....West Coast is the usual guess. Over here I've learned to Americanise as a tactic to duck the expected interrogation. I don't get away with it unless I try very hard.
  11. For decades I've tried to resist correcting the nice Americans who ask me if I'm Irish or English. Can't do it. I'm driven to put them straight, even when I know I'll be rewarded with a recitation of their entire knowledge of Scots culture, to whit: hagis (sic), bagpipes, whisky, the kilt and its missing undergarment. The ones who adopt a cod Scots brogue are the worst. Being called "laddie" depresses me for days. Anyone who asks me "what's worn under the kilt" gets instantly shut down with extreme prejudice. In the last month alone TWO well-meaning acquaintances have sent me a link to some eejit singing a song about a kilted man winning first prize.
  12. A misleading headline in the Telegraph? Stuff and nonsense. How dare you, madame?
  13. The wedding may have cost British business 5 billion quid, which would put paid to the hoary old argument that the Royals are a plus to the economy. At least that's according to the Telegraph, a newspaper I quote only when its view coincides with my prejudices: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8155625/Royal-wedding-marriage-will-cost-economy-5bn.html
  14. No doubt the stereotype of the Glasgow hard man got its biggest boost from "No Mean City." Every big city on the planet, and plenty of little ones (cf Juarez, Mex.), have produced horrifyingly violent individuals and communities. Literature transforms such people into stereotypes that last long after their time. I for one refuse any dinner invitation from psychiatrists wearing leather hockey masks, even though I quite like fava beans.
  15. I don't know really. The Scots DNA seems to contain a fair number of genes for aggression, action, impatience with idiots, and speaking our minds. There's enough truth in the stereotype to make it funny. I much prefer it to the old unfair and untrue stereotype that we have deep pockets and short arms.
  16. I'm afraid it matters a lot. If Obama was not born in the US he would be disqualified for the Presidency. The whole 'issue' is driven purely by racism: conscious or unconscious. Many Americans have a hard time believing that any African-American can be qualified to be President under any circumstances.
  17. The "issue" was sucking up air time. Obama released it because he wants real discussion of substantive matters. Some argue that holding off longer would have allowed the Repugnants to dig an even deeper hole for themselves, but Obama -- an adult in a nation of mental teenagers -- prefers pragmatics to politics. I'm guessing that in the next poll at least 20 percent of the population will declare that the birth certificate did not convince them. Whatever it is, this will be a useful number. It will help us to decide, once and for all, what percentage of Americans really are delusional w*nkers.
  18. I agree. As a proud Scot, I'm not in the least offended by the stereotype. In fact, I like it. Why is that? Anybody out there who finds it offensive?
  19. I don't normally pass on 'viral' humour, but I make an exception for anything uttered by John Cleese, as follows: The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the ######." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
  20. I keep thinking I'll buy a record player for a song. Same with my old trousers. I keep thinking I might be able to fit into them again one day.
  21. My interest in Scots politics is sporadic -- indulged in most frantically during my annual State Visit, when I obsessively try to catch up by watching Holyrood on the telly. To me Salmond comes across as a brilliant professional politician, on a par with Clinton for canniness. The smugness and self-regard seem to me endemic to the species. You're ironic comment about 'cult of personality' is bang on target, BRW. I too look forward to following a new SNP government. I'm sick to death with this lot over here.
  22. Cleaned out garage yesterday. I do it every ten years whether or not it's needed. A graveyard of unwise purchases. Roof rat heaven. Wee buggers had sampled a lot of my old vinyls: they liked Revolver, Astral Weeks and Wild Things Run fast. Didn't touch the wife's Barry Manilows. Even roof rats have taste, it seems.
  23. Good thing you weren't sleeping with me and Basil last night. I was up five or six times, awakened each time by the clammy clambering of a deer tick intent on summiting me and digging in for a nice feed. We had taken the road least traveled through the woods yesterday to view the new arrangements after the winter floods. Tick heaven. I bathed Basil when we got home, then applied a tick killer, which was not wise. The wee ###### were abandoning ship all night and transferring their ambitions to me. Ticks make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I shudder at their touch. I should shut Basil out, but he rips the door to shreds in retaliation. There's no solution except to pick the wee shites off, trot to the bathroom and consign them to a watery grave.
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