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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End
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Old catch phrases.

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I know the old ones are quite perfect

"Them that laugh first" and awl that, "There is no fool like a pair of ignorant old fools"

These old cliches are brilliant but how come there are very few new words of wisdom around.

The world has changed enough to include a couple of new ones, surely.

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I know the old ones are quite perfect

"Them that laugh first" and awl that, "There is no fool like a pair of ignorant old fools"

These old cliches are brilliant but how come there are very few new words of wisdom around.

The world has changed enough to include a couple of new ones, surely.

Sporting cliches seem to be invented by the day: game of two halves; give 110%; take each game at a time, etc

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My dad had a couple of choice ones...one of which I won't say more than to hint it was in response to me blubbing 'It's no fair, it's no fair'.

The other was a response to me asking 'where is it dad...where is it'. He would rejoin 'hinging fae ma lip shoutin Tarzan'.

My Gran's was a favourite of mine that I still use, to describe one with an overblown ego prone to being a blowhard...'A bigger bum than ten arses'. (it still gets me that one) <_<

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Not forgettin that old favourite

"I'll take ma haun aff yer face if ye don't behave"

or

"I'll make ye smile on the ithur side of yer face ya wee bugger"

"jist you wait 'til yer ******* (insert relevint parent) gets hame you'll know awe aboot it then"

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Not forgettin that old favourite

"I'll take ma haun aff yer face if ye don't behave"

or

"I'll make ye smile on the ithur side of yer face ya wee bugger"

"jist you wait 'til yer ******* (insert relevint parent) gets hame you'll know awe aboot it then"

haud oan, get this thread back on course its modern catch phrases.

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Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

As much use as a chocolate tea-pot

She'll be right!

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Been there done it got the tshirt

Beam me up Scotty

Two I say to my soon regularly... to his great annoyance (hehe)

It's a cald wurld without a shirt

Your coat's on a shoogily peg

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A colleague once uttered this line the morning after a previous evening meal of a particularly strong curry

'ave got a backside like the start of Bonanza'

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Guest westtender

A colleague once uttered this line the morning after a previous evening meal of a particularly strong curry

'ave got a backside like the start of Bonanza'

Hahahaha. laffed out loud....

that's twice aff you now I believe <_<

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I had an auntie who was pretty hefty. My uncle once said to her, "You look like two teddy bears wrestling in a gunny sack when you walk away from me." It nearly killed me to not laugh.

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Go bite yer bum!!

Shoot through like a Bondi tram

Gotcher wobbly boots on?

& for Gayle

Emperor Nasai Gorin did it

&

to keep the rabbits out

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A backside like a bag o burglars tools (cheeky beggar talking about a local barmaid)

If you don't stop greeting this minute .. I'll gie ye something tae greet aboot !

Laughing ur ye ? I'll gie ye something tae laugh about on the ither side o yer face !

Ye better no dae that, it's dangerous/ye'll hurt yerself and I huvnae the time tae run tae the hospital wi ye.

Come o'er here tae a gie ye a slap. (as if...)

Were ye born in a barn ?? ..shut the door !

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Mah auld maw used tae say, "Don't think ah'm daft jist coz ah slevver"

If ah tried tae justify sum crime by sayin, "but ah thot it wiz okay", mah granny wid reply, "see whit thot did? Plantit a feather an thot it wid grow a hen"

As fur modren day frazes, ah like, "she hud a face like a coo lickin pish affa nettles"

"Ah hope yer baws turn skwerr an' fester et the coarners"

"Ah hope yer ears turn intae erses an' ye shit oan yer shooders"

"Away an' fry yer tadger"

"Nivver staun still in a revolvin doorway"

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Guest westtender

Hahahaha, totally brilliant!

It's a shame you cannae get the benefit of yerself mister. Ye're a tonic.

I seem to recall however that you did not receive any of the bootins ye were due at OM, but.... saved for next time.

"A face like a burglars dug"

"A face like a blind cobbler's thumb"

"A face that would turn a funeral up a side street"

ancient but good. Thanks to Tom Shields - the original and still by far the best.

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mah granny wid reply, "see whit thot did? Plantit a feather an thot it wid grow a hen"

Mah granny wid say 'pee'd the bed and blamed the blankets'

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Mah granny wid say 'pee'd the bed and blamed the blankets'

Mah granny hud a few things thot did, an' that wiz also wanny thum, if slightly diffrint. Hur vershin went, "wet the bed and thot he wid blame the blankets"

Funny auld wurld. Ah aye thot that mah granny jist made them up as she went alang. See whit thot did?

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One of my Mum's Favourites ..... "Face like a skelped erse"

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