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Sorry my Dear, but this is the jokes thread and jokes are only funny if you want them to be, and only offensive if you're looking to be offended.

If you take it as only a joke, then that's all it is.

We can't please everyone all of the time. If you're easily offended, maybe best you don't look in here? :rolleyes:

What a load of rubbish!!

Jokes are only funny if people find them funny and everyone has their own sense of humour. What one person finds funny, another person won't necessarily find funny.

Same for being offended. What is offensive to some people is the biggest laugh ever to others. Nothing to do with looking to be offended.

To quote you "we can't please everyone all of the time". (the royal 'we'?)

In my opinion your joke wasn't funny at all because it targeted and mocked a stereotype that exists in your head - and possibly the heads of others. The word 'Drumchapel' could be replaced by any other place to get the same result, i.e. to plug into the prejudices of certain people.

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Guest westtender

The word 'Drumchapel' could be replaced by any other place to get the same result,

:rolleyes:

Morningside? Knightsbridge?

Drumchapel has the reputation it has for perfectly observable reasons: no matter how much you may wish it otherwise, and no matter how many good folk there may or may not be in it, it is still full of neddy drunk scum, and that's not just in SM's head.

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What a load of rubbish!!

Jokes are only funny if people find them funny and everyone has their own sense of humour. What one person finds funny, another person won't necessarily find funny.

Same for being offended. What is offensive to some people is the biggest laugh ever to others. Nothing to do with looking to be offended.

To quote you "we can't please everyone all of the time". (the royal 'we'?)

Is that not the point I was making? I've just read it again, and it wasn't in Swahili.

The Administrators in this forum really confuse me. What qualifications do I need to apply for such a high profile position?

In my opinion your joke wasn't funny at all because it targeted and mocked a stereotype that exists in your head - and possibly the heads of others. The word 'Drumchapel' could be replaced by any other place to get the same result, i.e. to plug into the prejudices of certain people.

If I had a couple of hours to waste I'd look through most of the posts in this thread and pinpoint jokes by Administrators that could be deemed 'targeting, mocking and stereotyping' others.

Admin lynnski has umpteen jokes in here targeting the Irish. My parents were Irish. But I'm not offended, and my parents constantly laughed at Irish jokes. Like myself they had a great sense of humour.

Some people should chill out in here. You can hear the ripping of tights too often in this forum! :rolleyes:

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Is that not the point I was making? I've just read it again, and it wasn't in Swahili.

No ... the points you were making were different. Re-read them then look at my response.

The Administrators in this forum really confuse me. What qualifications do I need to apply for such a high profile position?

Few are called ... fewer are chosen. :rolleyes:

Some people should chill out in here.

I can't speak for others on here but I'm pretty chilled today.

Anyway, this is the jokes thread so onwards and upwards....

Two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, ‘Do you know how to drive this?’

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No ... the points you were making were different. Re-read them then look at my response.

Few are called ... fewer are chosen. :lol:

I can't speak for others on here but I'm pretty chilled today.

Anyway, this is the jokes thread so onwards and upwards....

Two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, ‘Do you know how to drive this?’

That's just fishist :rolleyes:

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That's just fishist :lol:

You got a fetish about fishism? :rolleyes:

Anyway, some of my best friends are fish and when I tell them that joke they think it's hilarious!

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Can anyone name three fish with names that begin with 'K' ?

Koy, king fish & kipper

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Morningside? Knightsbridge?

I recieved this joke in a text, Drumchapel was replaced by Glasgow, can't say I was offended, I guess we all have different humour levels

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Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so”.

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, “Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words”.

Sister Mary Katherine said, “Hard bed”.

“I'm sorry to hear that” the Priest said, “We will get you a better bed”.

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. “You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine”.

“Cold food” said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. “You may say two words today”.

“I quit” said Sister Mary Katherine.

“It's probably best” said the Priest, “You've done F*CK all but moan since you've been here!”.

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Snooky (and indeed Gladtae and others!), re-read the post I made stating 'not funny in the slightest'. It was not the Drumchapel joke, which I've heard many a time with different areas used as the stereotype scummy place. It was the slavery reference that offended me. Slavery and the Holocaust just don't amuse me, and I'm hard to offend. I've laughed at cancer jokes, at paedophile jokes, at terrorist jokes (although some of them are downright xenophobia and not worth repeating), but I simply didn't find Snooky's joke about the cotton fields funny.

Irish jokes? I've Irish ancestry too Snooky, funny that, being a West of Scotlander and all...but to say 'I've Irish ancestry and don't get offended'...that's the poorest excuse I've heard in...well forever! :rolleyes: Everyone loves an Irish joke, especially the Irish!!

And for the last flipping time, stop calling females on here 'dear'. It is the most patronizing, condescending turn of phrase I think I've ever heard, I'd prefer 'hen' to be honest!

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Snooky (and indeed Gladtae and others!), re-read the post I made stating 'not funny in the slightest'. It was not the Drumchapel joke, which I've heard many a time with different areas used as the stereotype scummy place. It was the slavery reference that offended me. Slavery and the Holocaust just don't amuse me, and I'm hard to offend. I've laughed at cancer jokes, at paedophile jokes, at terrorist jokes (although some of them are downright xenophobia and not worth repeating), but I simply didn't find Snooky's joke about the cotton fields funny.

Irish jokes? I've Irish ancestry too Snooky, funny that, being a West of Scotlander and all...but to say 'I've Irish ancestry and don't get offended'...that's the poorest excuse I've heard in...well forever! :rolleyes: Everyone loves an Irish joke, especially the Irish!!

And for the last flipping time, stop calling females on here 'dear'. It is the most patronizing, condescending turn of phrase I think I've ever heard, I'd prefer 'hen' to be honest!

Listen Hen, I knew what joke you were referring to. I don’t want you wummin thinking I’m giving you preferential treatment, the guys get called Dear too.

No wonder us guys find it hard to understand you wummin. You can laugh at cancer, paedophile, and terrorist jokes, but mention the cotton fields and you’re having a ‘Nanny Rooney’???

Slavery and the holocaust happened, just like the other aforementioned stuff. Time you got over it. It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t around.

So making a joke about it doesn’t offend me. Just in the same way that the stuff you make fun of doesn’t offend you, because you haven’t experienced it at close quarters to bother too much.

I’m away for a lie doon noo…ma heid’s nippin!!! Think you might want to do likewise!

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Listen Hen, I knew what joke you were referring to. I don’t want you wummin thinking I’m giving you preferential treatment, the guys get called Dear too.

No wonder us guys find it hard to understand you wummin. You can laugh at cancer, paedophile, and terrorist jokes, but mention the cotton fields and you’re having a ‘Nanny Rooney’???

Slavery and the holocaust happened, just like the other aforementioned stuff. Time you got over it. It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t around.

So making a joke about it doesn’t offend me. Just in the same way that the stuff you make fun of doesn’t offend you, because you haven’t experienced it at close quarters to bother too much.

I’m away for a lie doon noo…ma heid’s nippin!!! Think you might want to do likewise!

I personally have laughed at jokes on those subjects, don't be including all the lassies on here in your assumption. I also personally feel those 2 subjects should never be 'got over', they should not be consigned to history as something that 'just happened'. If we forget these things they can happen again. That's my personal view on't matter.

Have a nice nap, my heid's just fine.

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Any analysis of any joke will fall into a trap of personalty and persuasion if analysed to within an inch of its life

"All White folk to report to the cotton fields", - it's funny in much the same way Charlie Williams was in the comedians....

Can we not leave the joke thread alone from PC ? which is inherantly a term devised by the marketting department of Microsoft to encourage more internet traffic.....

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I dunno who Charlie Williams is/was... :rolleyes:

I'm not the one analysing stuff and things here. I just commented, 'not funny in the slightest'. That is all.

:lol:

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Guest westtender

The wee cotton fields oneliner is one of the few posts on this thread that did actually raise a smile from me. I can't see how anyone could find it offensive. An inevitable line, that you didn't realise was inevitable until you heard it.

Personally, the one thing I would do to make this thread ten times better is ban the Maguire wan from posting. He seems to think he's awfy witty, but he's not.

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The wee cotton fields oneliner is one of the few posts on this thread that did actually raise a smile from me. I can't see how anyone could find it offensive. An inevitable line, that you didn't realise was inevitable until you heard it.

I agree. It's a harmless swinging pendulum joke ...and well overdue... :rolleyes:

Personally, the one thing I would do to make this thread ten times better is ban the Maguire wan from posting. He seems to think he's awfy witty, but he's not.

that isn't nice. :lol:

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Personally, the one thing I would do to make this thread ten times better is ban the Maguire wan from posting. He seems to think he's awfy witty, but he's not.

That's terrible you! Everybody loves me...most of them just don't know it yet!

Noo shut your gob n gies a kiss? :lol:

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That's terrible you! Everybody loves me...most of them just don't know it yet!

Noo shut your gob n gies a kiss? :P

There's something about Westie & Snookums that reminds me of....

im_a_celeb_mon.jpg

:lol::P:P:P

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There's something about Westie & Snookums that reminds me of....

:lol::P:P:P

Noo you're being terrible! I'll have you know I've got a better body than both of them! :P

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