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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End

Ye cannae go aff topic oan this threid...


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Ladybirds bite? Since when? :lol:

Check my post on Science and Technology forum, Harlequin Ladybird Thread. They were biting in Southport that year

http://www.wildaboutbritain.co.uk/forums/i...birds-bite.html

I like this one:

If you squeeze a ladybird it will bite you, but the bite would not hurt.

I have no doubt :lol:

http://www.animalcorner.co.uk/insects/lady...ird_trivia.html

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small town Ontario:

I went tae the library, this mornin. Took the van because i wasnae sure how cold it wid be, either that or am jist bein a lzy twerp. The weather is beautiful, no near as cold as i thought it wid be, probably aboot zero but nae wind and a gorgeos sun, struttin it's stuff oan a brilliant blue blanket

Cannae go ontae Main Street because of the Santa Claus Parade. The fire department supplied aw their vehicles and there were half a dozen floats....mibee mair because i jist saw the last of it. Parked oan a side street and a lady, 50s tae sixties is making a u-turn....she is drivin a convertable with the roof doon; looked very guid and i telt her so....open convertable oan the 12th./December.

Did a wee bit of shopping and met a German Short Haired pointer...ah think the dug liked me.

Am awa tae Blenheim and anithur bit of shopping....hamburgers and chips the night.

tam

ps mibee sloppy joes if i remember the miniastrone..........jist discovered i cannae spell mineostrone.

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Lady bugs do bite. It's not painful, but you will notice it.

Tam, I like German Shorthairs, but I like German Wirehaired pointers better. Sounds nice, that parade. I used to love it back home when the fire trucks brought Santa to the community center to see the kids, big and little alike. :P

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I used to love it back home when the fire trucks brought Santa to the community center to see the kids, big and little alike. :P

Same here in most Country towns The Rural Fire Service (volunteer bush fire fighters) bring Santa into town on their trucks in convoy with Sirens blaring & all lights flashing & the guys & gals in their bright yellow overalls collecting toys & cash for the needy.

The cash isnt collected in woosy little tins but in fire buckets.

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If the Fire Department did that here, the wheels would be nicked of the fire truck and the firemen would get pelted with stones.

We went with the kids down to Loch Lomond a couple of years ago to see Santa arriving on his sleigh - it had been postponed to the following week!!!

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Two nights in a row:

And not a word from Rolo....is she away for a bit....this time of, over there, morning, she can be counted on tae be here...same as Oz, sometimes Gayle and Peony.

tam

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With all the doom & gloom on other threads I had my faith in human beings re-newed this morning twice. Could have been anywhere but was here.

Jumped into car early today & radio was on 2UE just caught an announcement by Shock Jock ----- "hi Pauline driving from Penhust to Ulladullah" (about 60miles) "would you please return home as you have left your handbag with all your money, credit cards & mobile phone at home & you will be in strife without it." I thought thats nice of them & clicked over to 2GB & just caught the tail of the same thing. In a huge city like Sydney & with all the important going ons in the world at least 2 radio stations have the time to lookout for some poor forgetfull lady who had mislaid her handbag.

Second on 8:30am news the headline was that 2 red headed kids aged about 4 & 3 had been spotted by a motorist walking down the highway at Glenview & he had reported it to the cops. The cops arrived fast & looked after kids while others did a door to door looking for parents. Just as the news was finishing, about 5 minutes late,r there was a late flash, the kids' dad had turned up to claim them. They had slipped out to go for a walk before anyone was awake. Once again it was nice of the radio guy to let us all know the outcome as well as the prompt action by motorist, cops and radio stations broadcasting it.

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Two nights in a row:

And not a word from Rolo....is she away for a bit....this time of, over there, morning, she can be counted on tae be here...same as Oz, sometimes Gayle and Peony.

tam

Worry not, Sir Tam. Can't speak for Oz, Gayle or Peony of course but my recent absence from 'late duty's been down to me being engaged in a survey of the pavement conditions outside various evening haunts hereabouts... <_<

Happy to report that at this stage in this week's research I have not fallen down at all, not even once, outside the ABC, the Chip, Oran Mor or even down the somewhat treacherous stairs at Mimmos. Quite a feat given the freezing fog afoot all weekend.

As the holiday season approaches youse can all rely on me to do my utmost to continue my reports of the state of the pavements hereabouts.

Meanwhile I must report that a bloke fell down ALL the stairs in the Chip earlier. We all ran to help him, well I lie, some of us did, but he brushed off our concerns in a vague manner and limped off down the Lane regardless.

:)

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Well done that lass:

nae doubt you will be the recipient of the "Florence Nightingale" tongue depressor and thermometer kit for 2009 and Oz' radio announcer will claim the runner-up spot.

tam

it is 2.45 am here and am up due tae a coughing fit......livin we a smoker isnae guid for one's health.

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Guest westtender

With all the doom & gloom on other threads I had my faith in human beings re-newed this morning twice. Could have been anywhere but was here.

Jumped into car early today & radio was on 2UE just caught an announcement by Shock Jock ----- "hi Pauline driving from Penhust to Ulladullah" (about 60miles) "would you please return home as you have left your handbag with all your money, credit cards & mobile phone at home & you will be in strife without it." I thought thats nice of them & clicked over to 2GB & just caught the tail of the same thing. In a huge city like Sydney & with all the important going ons in the world at least 2 radio stations have the time to lookout for some poor forgetfull lady who had mislaid her handbag.

Second on 8:30am news the headline was that 2 red headed kids aged about 4 & 3 had been spotted by a motorist walking down the highway at Glenview & he had reported it to the cops. The cops arrived fast & looked after kids while others did a door to door looking for parents. Just as the news was finishing, about 5 minutes late,r there was a late flash, the kids' dad had turned up to claim them. They had slipped out to go for a walk before anyone was awake. Once again it was nice of the radio guy to let us all know the outcome as well as the prompt action by motorist, cops and radio stations broadcasting it.

<_<

Total Oz!!

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Guest westtender

Worry not, Sir Tam. Can't speak for Oz, Gayle or Peony of course but my recent absence from 'late duty's been down to me being engaged in a survey of the pavement conditions outside various evening haunts hereabouts... <_<

Happy to report that at this stage in this week's research I have not fallen down at all, not even once, outside the ABC, the Chip, Oran Mor or even down the somewhat treacherous stairs at Mimmos. Quite a feat given the freezing fog afoot all weekend.

As the holiday season approaches youse can all rely on me to do my utmost to continue my reports of the state of the pavements hereabouts.

:)

I was passing Curlers the other day where Gangster's Moll fell on her chist. There IS a big dip in the pavement there.... it looks like subsidence. The pavement itself is a bliddy disgrace annol.

Meanwhile I must report that a bloke fell down ALL the stairs in the Chip earlier. We all ran to help him, well I lie, some of us did, but he brushed off our concerns in a vague manner and limped off down the Lane regardless.

:lol:

:lol:

Dat's ma Glasgow boy!

(Was he pished?)

(Embdy we know??)

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Beware

From Todays Paper

A story to freak every driver with cruise control:

THE driver of a runaway car stuck on cruise control hurtling along Melbourne’s Eastern Freeway at 100km/h said last night he was convinced he was going to die.

Travelling on the wrong side of the road and hysterical, Chase Weir, 22, found himself racing toward a wall of cars when a frantic police radio operator ordered him to slam on the brakes.

“She told me to jump on the brake and pull the handbrake at the same time, which I did,’’ a still shaken Mr Weir said.

“I just shut my eyes. I could hear the tyres skidding on the road for what seemed like forever. I thought I was dead....”

Mr Weir’s 30-minute ordeal began about 12.40pm while travelling in the outbound lane of the Eastern Freeway on his way to Greensborough.

After moving to take the Burke Rd exit, he realised the cruise control in his 2002 Ford Explorer was stuck and his car was unable to slow down.

He was told there were police cars in front of him and more arriving to help stop his car. Other police cars provided an escort and assisted in clearing the way along Eastlink, as 000 operators contacted Ford to try to find a solution.

The car was moved over to left lanes as police lights and sirens cleared a path. Mr Weir told police he tried to brake, knock the car out of gear and remove the keys, all to no avail.

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Scary stuff, Oz.

What happened at the end of the story?

Would like to say he is now passed Canberra on way north!

BUT

Truth is jumping on brakes & pulling on handbrake stopped him

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Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms."

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Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms."

:huh:;):D:lol: :lol:

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Guest westtender

Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms."

:huh:

Ancient!!! Lifted from Not the Nine O'Clock News, that's how ancient!!

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:huh:

Ancient!!! Lifted from Not the Nine O'Clock News, that's how ancient!!

Not exactly the case

The NTNON version went sumthin like this

Swedish Pharmacy (compleet wae Swedish accents)

customer - Can I have some deodarent please?

Shop Asst - Ball or aerosole

Customer - neither its for my armpits

You huv tae get teh Swedish accent in tae get it tae sound right

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