Honest Politicians – a play in two voices

Jenne Gray and C.E. Ayr

Honest Politicians

Rab! Rab, look at this!

What is it? Oh, from the interim government. What do they want with you?

Read it! I’m on the Assembly! The Citizens’ Assembly! I’m building the new Scotland!

Wheesht, Cathy, I’m reading. Dear Mrs Wallace…

That’s me, Rab, that’s me!

Aye, I think I know that, been married to you long enough! Dear Mrs Wallace, Following your application… You applied?

I did! They asked for folk to get the system up and running, it’ll be more random later. But I get to make sure our MPs behave!

Aye, like they’ll listen to you!

But they have to, don’t you see, it’s in the Constitution. They have to sign up to it, agree to follow the rules, so we don’t get in the mess that others have.

Like Westminster, y’mean.

Aye, but not just there, MPs have been abusing the system all over. Ours have to face up to some new facts.

Like what?

They work for us! We elect them, we pay their wages, they run the country the way we want them to.

Who’s this we?

The people of Scotland, Rab! Us! You and me, and Mrs Cameron next door and Mrs McCallum across the road.

What do they know about politics?

Nothing, that’s why we need MPs. But we’re not going to get into any illegal wars, or we’ll have the lot of them in front of the Assembly.

They’ll not listen to the likes of you!

Rab, the Assembly represents the people of Scotland! We have the authority! Don’t forget, don’t ever forget, in Scotland, sovereignty lies in the people, not in parliament.

So you’re there to stop wars?

Aye, Rab, and we’re there to stop them telling us lies. We’re there to make sure that they’re honest with us. Can you imagine a world where people trust politicians?

Trust politicians? Are you kidding? Can you really do that?

Aye, we can, and not just that. There’s more, much more, down to making sure we’re not paying for their moats and second homes and all that rubbish.

Aye well, that’s obviously a good idea.

And there’s lots of other stuff, like what other jobs they have, and their behaviour in parliament, and outside. We don’t want them embarrassing us in front of the world, do we? We have to show everybody that we’re a grown-up country, with smart people and good ideas.

Like these rolling elections?

Exactly. If we’re not happy with the way things are, we don’t need to wait four years for a General Election, there’s a bunch of them up for re-election every year or two. That’s not finally decided yet, might ask the people!

Aye, but that’ll keep the politicians on their toes right enough!

This is the new Scotland, Rab. We can make it whatever we want! We’re thinking ahead and we’re moving forward!

You’re a wee marvel, Cathy. Now where’s that Constitution, I need to read through it again before you’re running the whole country!

August, 2021

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