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A guid New Year tae Yin and Aw. Mrs. Sgriob read my greeting and asked if Yin and Aw are pandas. Nae culture, some folks. I know I know I know, I only post here when I need help. Here's the issue: I'm doing three Burns Suppers this year and have run out of suitable jokes. Any ideas? Said joke can be only tangentially associated with Burns (i.e. Sex, drink, religion and politcs are fine) and if vulgar should be mild enough to provoke blush and titter, rather than outrage or accusations of racism or sexism. Some killjoys aver that the Immortal Memory is no place for silly jokes. Not IMHO. Burns had a terrific, if bawdy, sense of humour. I always try to give a speech that would make the invisible Immortal guffaw. Luvya all, Mean it. Bye.