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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End


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Everything posted by Sgriob

  1. Your kidneys, shairly? I love your use of "glottlestopping", but since the 19th Century the glo'alstop has been a diagnostic feature of Glaswegian, so ye cannae tease the Cockneys for it. There's plenty you can tease them for, however. I have a London pal who still says "fings" and "firsty" despite merciless ribbing from all within earshot. I recently read a scholarly paper on the glottal stop's gradual spread throughout Scotland. It also mentioned the "Gaelic gasp", which my parents, aunties and uncles all used. I started doing it again and Mrs. Sgriob asked if I had indigestion.
  2. I'm tired of all that nonsense too, Pat. I think I've decided that the internet is toxic to civilised discourse. The semi-anonymity allows people to express the bile that we learn, growing up, to disguise in the interests of civility. Some folk are pretty ugly underneath it all. Very disappointing.
  3. I love the Canadian dollar, the Quine (HRH). With the Loonie on the obverse. Some Aiberdonian immigrant's idea nae doot. HRH would need replacing. Either Mary Queen of Scots, Lulu, Annie Lennox or Susan Boyle, aff the tapuvraheid.
  4. Sigh. I loved the thrupny with the thrift design. Half crown was my favorite, closely follyed by the florin, for obvious reasons. Dye mind when a broon ten-Boab note would last a weekend?
  5. Couple of years ago I mocked my brothers for reading (and believing) the Daily Mail. They were suitably abashed, but I was only kidding, not having read the Mail in decades. When I read a few issues I wanted to go back and punch them out for being such numpties. The Mail was never this bad when I was in Fleet Street (400 years ago.) This was before the DMGT realised (like Fox) that their readers aren't interested in news, only in reading what they think they know already. Now none of us mentions the Mail.
  6. What if they won't let us use the pound? What could we call the Scottish equivalent? Here's a few from the history of Scottish numismatology: Lion, Crown, Ducat, Mark, Noble, Testoun, Plack, Alex, Punnd, Nota. (Okay, the Alex was my idea.)
  7. The Independent wants me to pay them $4 a month to read the rag on-line. Is it worth it, do you think? I'm reading more UK news at the moment in advance of my fact-finding tour of the Auld Scotia. Which national papers are on your breakfast table? Which offers the completest and best balance coverage these days? Back in the day I used to read the Mirror, the Guardian, Sunday Times and Private Eye. I still get the Eye but can only understand parts of it.
  8. Get thee behind me, Tablet. I've said that man times and there it is, right enuff, behind me -- at my waistline and neckline tae.
  9. I widnae fancy chorizo anywhere. Ingredients: Pork salivary glands, lymph nodes & fat (cheeks), paprika, soy flour, vinegar, salt, spices red pepper, garlic, sodium nitrate. Ick. Canny stand soy flour.
  10. "Can heated knickers help you lose weight?" That disnae resemble the Sunday Post of my childhood. Whit's next? Oor Wullie Goes Tranny? Broons in Incest Stooshie? The HON has a cuppa in Europe's High Rise Bordello (Forty Floors of Whores!!)
  11. Sgriob


    Maybe it's a reaction to Frankie Boyle.
  12. Sgriob


    For my sins I've been dipping into the Huff Post comments section and am astonished at the rabid anti-Scots sentiments. Has it always been that bad, or is it just an effect of the Internet? Certainly none of these ignorant hate-mongers would dare utter such tripe out loud in Scotland.
  13. I was getting caught up in this discussion until I realised it happened three years ago. Why did it stop? What happened to the Glasgow community of discourse that I used to brag about to my Murcan pals? The abrupt silence feels like the beginning of a science fiction story. I'm serious. Can someone explain?
  14. Sgriob


    Nigel Farage besieged in an Embro pub by an angry mob today. Not a good omen. (The horror, the horror. It must have been hell in there when the Deuchars ran out.)
  15. Nailed it Sam. Bacon roll every day when I'm in country. For years I rhapsodised the joys of Ayrshire bacon to my two American kids. They made soor faces when they tried it. "Tastes like meat," one of them protested. American bacon tastes only of salt and nitre. How quickly the gems of our culture turn to dust.
  16. I am stoked at the prospect. Mrs Sgriob will chaperone.... and perhaps Caitlin the Amazing Monkey Girl will come with us. She's between primates right now. Our wee rental is in the centre of Dunkeld, an easy stroll away from four pubs and a short sprint from the Darjeeling restaurant.
  17. I'm still not very clear on how things work there nowadays. Could UKIP be good for Labor by splitting the Tory vote?
  18. Sgriob


    I've been trying to work out what Ukip's new prominence might mean for the referendum. Anything? Mr. Farage is exactly the kind of Englishman that makes my blood run cold. I'd help rebuild Hadrian's Wall to keep him out.
  19. Thanks Pat. When I started noticing him in the UK Huffington Post, Guardian, Scotsman and Independent I assumed he was a comic actor. Something about the name, the heavy lids, the froggy mouth and of course those horrendous nicotine-stained teeth. He sounds rational enough, despite the appalling policy statements and greedy-piggy narcissistic "libertarian" patter. He gives me the willies, I'm afraid. (Not the kind of willies Nigel Evans would give me, of course.)
  20. And how do you pronounce Farage anyway? Faraaaage or Farridge?
  21. me for example. Hee-Haw was a redneck TV show celebrating Duelling Banjos culture.
  22. Spoken like a true American, Pat. (In a good way.) One thing that accounts for the difference in flavour between politics in the UK and US is that the American system depends on the opposition party contributing to governance. In Britain the losing party's sole raison d'etre is to oppose the party in power -- hence a political culture of mockery, grudge and overall sluggishness. From Day One of Obama's administration the Republicans decided to do it the British way. They devoted almost all their efforts to bringing down the President and obstructing any changes that might have reflected too well on him. Result: Four years of bile and virtual stagnation. There are signs that a few Republicans are beginning to see what went wrong for them. Not the True-Believers, of course. They will cling to their self-defeating fantasies: ideological purity and the conviction that Real America has been hijacked by a foreign-born Muslim socialist. I hope they never see the error of their ways -- their days are numbered anyway -- and I sincerely thank them for their role in getting Obama re-elected.
  23. He has Bill Clinton in his corner, and Bill knows how to make an economy hum. The man's adroitly achieved budget surplus was promptly squandered by Bush with his outmoded, disproved theories of trickle down prosperity. (Exactly how many jobs did his tax cuts create?) Nobody believes taxing the rich is a magic wand for an ailing economy, but it's a start, and economic justice demands it. It's not the rich who create prosperity, and it's not austerity either. It's ordinary folks with money in their pockets. There's plenty of work in saving American's crumbling infrastructure for a start. Two builder pals of mine are already in Hoboken, where Sandy has ensured them full employment for a while to come. America is coming back. End of rant. If Hillary runs I'll vote for her. She probably won't, though. The woman needs a long, long holiday more than she needs six more years of strife.
  24. A tiny problem, no doubt. Sore losers, the lot of them. The chances of Scotland's secession are much, much higher.
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