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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End

Sgriob

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Everything posted by Sgriob

  1. Thanks Rory. Nowadays I can do the Jimmy bunnet thing without props. My favorite joke is about the pet centipede. Not necessarily a Scottish joke, but the hermless lead character and his squalid environs reminds me a lot of certain byways of Dundee.
  2. A guid New Year tae Yin and Aw. Mrs. Sgriob read my greeting and asked if Yin and Aw are pandas. Nae culture, some folks. I know I know I know, I only post here when I need help. Here's the issue: I'm doing three Burns Suppers this year and have run out of suitable jokes. Any ideas? Said joke can be only tangentially associated with Burns (i.e. Sex, drink, religion and politcs are fine) and if vulgar should be mild enough to provoke blush and titter, rather than outrage or accusations of racism or sexism. Some killjoys aver that the Immortal Memory is no place for silly jokes. Not IMHO. Burns had a terrific, if bawdy, sense of humour. I always try to give a speech that would make the invisible Immortal guffaw. Luvya all, Mean it. Bye.
  3. Wild horses annat, Pat. I'l be staying near Perth starting on 8th Sept. I have sworn a solemn oath not to discuss this issue with my No-saying rellies. But I'll be singing, dancing and disgracing myself as much as possible with the old gang. I hope the gap in the polls gets no narrower. The Ayes need the inspiration, and mebbe some Naws will think it's in the bag and not bother to vote. Today I feel it in my bones that it will be Yes. Even if it's not, I'm more sure than ever that Independence is inevitable sooner or later. I daydream about spending my final years in an Independent Scotland.
  4. Absolutely clueless. I did laugh -- it had the rhythm and subtext of a Harry Enfield sketch -- but I also blushed in shame. She sounded painfully like some women I know who are, let's just say, not a million miles from my own family circle. Sadly, that kind of attitude -- "it's aw above my head and I'm too busy with life to pay much attention to such matters and besides every politician is out for him/herself and doesn't give a rat's bahookie about ordinary folk" -- is commonplace where I come from.
  5. I had a pal pick me up a souvenir copy of the Sunday Herald today. Sold out in Blairgowrie and Dunkeld, nabbed the last one in a Pitlochry shop. It's a turning point, if you ask me. Victory is in the wind. I read the editorial to Mrs. Sgriob, who sniffled and went all shiny eyed on me. She used to do that without newspaper editorials.
  6. Outstanding indeed, Sams. It's heartbreaking to see what has become of 'my' party.
  7. Connolly, me. Even tho I went for the full English breakfast.
  8. 35 years of marriage have not dimmed my rose-coloured specs. Maybe I just got lucky.
  9. I got the bowk after ten minutes. Very disappointing. Very depressing. Call me a chauvinist pig, but I expect better of women.
  10. Me neither. I'm a size 12. McWhirter in the Herald today: "What is remarkable in Scotland, at this turning point in history, is the almost complete absence of street politics in the referendum campaign. I think this a good thing, on the whole, but it puzzles the many foreign journalists who come to Scotland looking for drama - for million-strong marches, megaphones, riot police." That will be my problem in September too. My Editor here expects literal and rhetorical fireworks, photo ops and megaphones. Still racking my brains for the right way to report this.
  11. Me too HH. Even if the No vote prevails this is an exciting moment in Scotland's history. I'm beginning to think that Independence is an inevitability -- regardless of September's result. This whole debate is giving us all a clearer view of how we think of ourselves, and of how the rest of the UK views us.
  12. In discussing September's coverage this morning, my American friend proclaimed that the denial of the Pound to Scotland is surely a death blow to Independence. (I don't think I did a good job of persuading her otherwise.) Does anyone here regard this development as fatal?
  13. http://www.heraldscotland.com/comment/columnists/osbornes-politics-of-dirty-harry-on-currency-union.23407532 A positive spin on Osborne's threat/bluff to deny Scotland the use of sterling in the event of a Yes vote. "Rough wooing" indeed.
  14. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/02/07/scottish-referendum-david-cameron_n_4744207.html?utm_hp_ref=uk-politics&ir=UK+Politics This made me laugh. Seems a fair response to those who want to make the Referendum about Alex Salmond.
  15. Thanks all (HollowHorn? You yet live?). The rough plan so far is to catch a couple of weeks of the Festival, then repair to Tayside to await our fate. Probably set up HQ in Perth. So far I'm the only one in my (original) family who supports Yes. I gave them all a good lambasting last time I was in-country, but whit can ye dae, short of sending them to re-education camps? I'm definitely up for a swally or two.
  16. Not sure if this is the right place for it, but I need some help. I intend to be in Scotland for the Referendum, possibly to report on the countdown and the vote for an on-line or print outlet. The MSM will cover the obvious stuff, but I'll be more interested in the view from street level (Edinburgh or Glasgow.) Where do you think 'ground zero' will be when the results come in? I'd be most grateful to learn of any scheduled party-type events (be they celebrations or wakes) should you good folks hear of any. In the meantime I'm immersing myself in the issue. Which commentators, pols and journalists do you think are the most eloquent on either side? (I already ingest the Herald coverage religiously.) Many thanks.
  17. Not mauve dear, Passion Plum. Coral pink would have been soooooo wrong with that jaiket.
  18. He's wrong, I'm afraid. Burns hated inequality and class privilege. A Yes vote would nullify the privileged, narrow, inhumane world view of the Westminster crowd, wi their ribands, stars and a' that.
  19. Just watched the Greenock debate and once again was irritated by the inclusion of a token "celebrity." Sanjeev Kohli and Eddie Reader might be intelligent people, but they have no specialised knowledge of the issues and serve only to irritate. I could have done without that pompous wee p---k Alex Massie annaw. Nice to hear Fiona Hyslop quasi-quoting Burns, but the level of respect for the Bard was sadly low in the audience.
  20. I did the Tam o' Shanter without translation or apology. One chap said he understood every fourth word. Some said they were amazed at my memory. (Must be a culture thing; my pal Colm from Cork can recite half a dozen Shakespeare sonnets and scads of Yeats and Merriman, all reinforced, in his youth, by the tawse.) At least my American friends can say they heard it once. And they now know the origin of the wee hat with the bobble, a mediocre brand of blended whisky and the reason why the figurehead of the Cutty Sark is a bare bosomed lassie clutching a mop head. When she read "is it me or Burns getting bigger every year?" Mrs Sgriob made an insensitive remark. I do think my kilt has shrunk a bit, however.
  21. Did two Immortal Memories this year, two Addresses to the Haggis, and one Tam O'Shanter. Two proper gigs and our annual do at a someone's palatial home. Highlights: flautist Susan Winsberg reciting "To a Mouse" flawlessly and with feeling; Gordon Duncan's "Thunderstruck" to usher in a haggis; a fabulous haggis cooked inside a crispy chicken skin (sheep's stomach illegal in California; scattered cheers at a mention of a Referendum Yes vote. Lowlights: a guest at a formal in shorts and teeshirt; three women who had never heard of Burns; a male guest wearing a broadsword, with his kilt on backwards. Is it just me, or is Burns just getting bigger every year?
  22. "Why is he so keen to hold onto Scotland if it is such a drain on resources?" Excellent question. And consulting Putin in the matter is like asking Mickey Rooney to help save your marriage. No fewer than 15 states have rid themselves of Soviet hegemony since WW2.
  23. Patrick Harvie was the star. Eddi Reader was an embarrassment, poor dear. I too hope it was the drink.
  24. It was the Paxman interview that won me as a fan. Brand is trying to redefine the debate and here promoted a different slant on Paxman's conventional 'wisdom.' He's a communicator. If he gets people, younger people in particular, to think about the issues of equality and social justice in a creative way, he will have done his job. Brand grew up in humble and difficult circumstances. Becoming rich does not necessarily destroy empathy. Au contraire.......
  25. I've made up my mind. Russell Brand is a fine, intelligent man masquerading as a bit of a dick. Jeremy Paxman is the exact opposite.
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