My Brother and Cancer

[samscafeamericain 0]

My brother has been fighting cancer these past four years (bowel and then liver).

He was told on Friday that the hospital can do no more for him and he should put his affairs in order - we do not know yet how long he has left whether its weeks or months.

We have been devastated all weekend yet my brother appears very relaxed, he seems to have taken such devastating news in his stride. It makes me wonder how I could cope, the thought of leaving family would torture me yet no doubt its something we all must face one day.

God bless you John.

[Pat 0]

Sams, I am so sad to hear this. I feel you are much younger than I am and lately I have heard a lot of sad news regarding contemporaries. I also know several people who are unwell. The difference between how each of them cope is remarkable and some, like your brother, show amazing courage and fortitude. I often wonder if it is because they are protecting those they know they are leaving behind.

Thoughts are with you.

[samscafeamericain 0]

Thanks Pat.

[willie campbell 0]

Sam,

I am so sorry to hear about your brother John.It's devastating news for all your family,and my sympathies go out to you.

I have lost family and friends over the years to cancer,and yes,you wonder how you could cope given the same news about yourself.

Maybe after 4 years of treatment John is worn out,and maybe he would welcome the chance to say how he really feels if someone gently asked.My wee mum was dying of cancer,and stoically putting on a brave face,when my aunt asked her the question none of us were brave enough to ask.Mum told her how she felt.It seemed to help her,and in doing so,the rest of us.

[harper 0]

Devastating news, Sam and so hard to bear.

As you say, Sam, this is a journey we will all make and I wonder whether there is an innate instinct that takes over when our time is approaching. I have always sensed you are a man of faith and I hope that faith supports and carries you through these sad times. From my own faith, I offer you this: "Be wise. Treat yourself, your mind, sympathetically, with loving kindness. If you are gentle with yourself, you will be gentle with others." - Lama Thubten Yeshe. To pass with a mind of peace, knowing that we are loved, is the best we can hope for, for ourselves and our loved ones.

You are in my thoughts.

Harper x

[Pat 0]

That's a lovely prayer/expression, harper.

[samscafeamericain 0]

Harper, Willie thank you for your very kind and inspirational words.

I was down seeing him today, he is fully coherent and aside from being nothing but skin and bone you would not know anything was wrong. He has a new grandchild which brings its own joy. He seemed much cheerier today - the last thing we want is him giving up - and up again for the fight. Sometimes that Irish blood comes in handy.

[Pat 0]

I think the relationships between people are so varied and people look for different things and behave in different ways with certain people. You are right, willie. The opportunity to open up is essential. I think it's worth people providing the support putting their heads together.

Samsc, your brother sounds a very brave man. I really hope he is comfortable and peaceful in his mind. Thoughts are with you.

[rory 0]

That is very bad news for you samsamericancafe and I hope you all find strength.

[Veronica 0]

Sorry for your trouble, samsamericancafe. Hard times.

[samscafeamericain 0]

thank you folks, he is taking part in some medical trials, accepts it won't help him but will be good for those who will suffer in the future

[Pat 0]

thank you folks, he is taking part in some medical trials, accepts it won't help him but will be good for those who will suffer in the future

That's very brave and good of him, samsc. You must be proud of your brother. I hope he is very comfortable and able to enjoy some thing.

[samscafeamericain 0]

Thanks Pat, he is still up and about but his physical strength has started to fail him, actually when I say that, its because he needs help carrying ladders, perspective is everything. I suppose he was always my big brother who was strong as an ox and available for battering bullies on the nose when needed.

[lynnski 0]

Sorry to hear this Sam. Hope the trials are indeed useful. My Mum was on one for her lymphoma treatment but had to come off it as she took an extreme allergic reaction.

[samscafeamericain 0]

Just to let you know we buried my brother John yesterday in St Peter's Cemetery on London Road (within earshot of his beloved Celtic).  

He fought his fight for a long time but by the time of his death, he was down to 6st in weight and his quality of life had deteriorated significantly, albeit he remained at home and passed peacefully in his sleep.  

We had been slightly dreading the funeral given the forecasts of torrential rain but remarkably the rain held at bay and, it was much commented upon, that at the moment of his actual burial the sun shone (the only 15 minutes in the entire day that it did).   

Family came together from far and wide, previous fall outs were healed and great vows of more visits and get togethers were exchanged - I think sometimes we all take family for granted - let us hope we follow through.

Anyway, God bless you John  

[Pat 0]

Very sad news, samc.  I'm glad the funeral went well and that the family were supportive.  Yes, we do take things for granted. Such a big loss puts things in perspective. Thinking of you. Pat

[tig 0]

sorry to hear this terrible news sam

[samscafeamericain 0]

Thanks Folks, 

[Pat 0]

Hope your family have a peaceful Christmas, samsc.

[lynnski 0]

So sad to hear this Sam, wishing you and your family a peaceful and restful Christmas. 

[rory 0]

Very sad for you and your family sam.

[Veronica 0]

Sorry about your bad news Rotten time of year too.

[samscafeamericain 0]

Just a wee update.  We were at the grave yesterday (it also contains my parents) just tidying it up and I had brought along a bottle of whisky to give them each a dram (daft I know, but hey).   Anyway, we took three pictures of the grave from various angles and lo and behold does the third picture not show a fog above and around the grave (yesterday was sunny and dry).  I am sure there are numerous scientific rational that could explain the fog but we like to think we were being thanked for the drams.   

[Veronica 0]

Sounds helluva eerie, Sam, but a wee bit of comfort.

[samscafeamericain 0]

I am always amazed after someone dies how many 'little coincidences' happen - possibly because we are in a heightened state looking for them (or maybe they are always there but we need to be in an attentive mood to spot them).