8 replies to this topic

[willie campbell]

Hi,

my friend worked as a dental receptionist during her summer break from college.It was just signing the patients in, telling patients to go through for their torture treatment,and taking the money.It was an area of Glasgow where dental care wasn't high in the pecking order,and most patients had all their own tooth,and a shoogly one.
One morning she looked up from her paperwork to see two faces like Greggs halloween cakes,mother and daughter as it turns out,staring at her across the desk.Both had just stubbed fags out on the surgery floor.
My friend asked how she could help,and the mother explained her daughter was here to get "aw her teeth howked out,and a new set fitted,as a birthday present fae her man."
They took a seat,the daughter was taken,gassed,and appeared 15 mins. later from the surgery with legs like broken candles,and a set of new teeth so large and white, she looked like Roy Rodgers horse Trigger.They paid there bill,and left with the daughter still groggy,and with a slow blink.
Next morning the same two faces stared down at her across the desk,mother and daughter,she still with the enormous teeth.They came back complaining that after they left the previous day,mother turned her back for a moment, and the daughter,who was in her twenties,had disappeared.She eventually emerged from a pet shop ten minutes later carrying a caged budgie she had just bought.
They had the budgie receipt, and were demanding the dentist give her a refund as "she must have bought the budgie under the influence of the gas,and her man wiz gonnae kill her her for wasting his drink money!"
My friend went into the dentist who declined the refund,and, as mother and daughter left,Daughter turned and said lishpily through the white plastic"he'sh called Billy",and off they waddled for a fifteen item breakfast at the local supermarket.
You couldn't make it up,

Willie.x.

[samscafeamericain]

oh I am sure you could at least embellish it

[Pat]

I'm sure Billy learned to say clacketty clack pretty quickly, Willie.

Nowadays there seems to be a new toothpaste avert every five minutes, weans greetin' for braces and eighty year olds with sparkling whitened teeth. A big difference from the days when half the population over forty had wallies.

Some changes are definitely for the better. I might be on the wrong thread.

[EdgarsofPartick]

It's dead funny when the dentist brings the colour chart out to match your own teeth when having a crown or a plate and you see the pearly white at the start ending with a dull nicotine yellow! You know you want the pearlies, but reality sets in! Film stardom is clearly out unless someone wants to donate £40,000 for titanium Film Star teeth! Then there would be a £6000 facelift to make the most of them and I haven't even started on my body! I can't afford to be vain!

[EdgarsofPartick]

Oh, and if you've got teeth like a row of condemed tenemants the NHS will fix them for £205....

[willie campbell]

It's dead funny when the dentist brings the colour chart out to match your own teeth when having a crown or a plate and you see the pearly white at the start ending with a dull nicotine yellow! You know you want the pearlies, but reality sets in! Film stardom is clearly out unless someone wants to donate £40,000 for titanium Film Star teeth! Then there would be a £6000 facelift to make the most of them and I haven't even started on my body! I can't afford to be vain!

[willie campbell]

Hi Pat and Edgar,

I remember when people would get their teeth out and wallies put in for their birthday or anniversary.Usefull present you must admit,but not high in the romance stakes.
I started getting two implants in January,and just got the finished atricles last week.9 months for the whole procedure.Now I cant stop smiling..well i've got to get my moneys worth.
Edgar,I enjoy your reminiscenses,and I like the style you write in, which comes over as just how you would speak I imagine,

Willie.

[harper]

In Glasgow false teeth were a sign of prosperity.

I was watching a programme night on victoria dentistry, of all things. Apparently there was a fashion to remove the teeth of women before marraige so as they wouldn't be a financial burden to their husbands. It's like something out of Dickens...

[EdgarsofPartick]

Willie, I like your humour too, we are possibly on the same wavelength!
Harper, glad we're not in Victorian times now or there wouldn't be that TV advert for doggy denture sticks, which creases me up. It wouldn't be right for Fido to have a nice set of knashers when the missus just had lovely gums.