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Pat's Guide to Glasgow West End

Ye cannae go aff topic oan this threid...


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Well, whit aboot the boay who goat dumped by his burd who wurked in a tractor factory.

She sent him a John Deere letter.

Aye, aye, ah know it wiz wurse than the furst joke.

Awe ferr feks sake.................................

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DON'T WASTE money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Tried yer tip therr Rolo m'lad, but ah wiz badly oota choon. Ah'm better stikkin tae ra 8 track ah huv in mah motur.

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DON'T WASTE money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Yer nae frae Aiberdeen Rolo?

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Squirrel is the newest member....would Squirrel be Sgriob returning tae the forum ?

tam

See the post aboot humming....ay ustae dae that withoot thinking....it really upset ithurs in the hoose....noo i hum because of the rewards.

See the image of Maggs with the dress caught up in the knickers and see humming "the stripper" at the same time...it's no a bad way tae pass some time.

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Squirrel is the newest member....would Squirrel be Sgriob returning tae the forum ?

tam

See the post aboot humming....ay ustae dae that withoot thinking....it really upset ithurs in the hoose....noo i hum because of the rewards.

See the image of Maggs with the dress caught up in the knickers and see humming "the stripper" at the same time...it's no a bad way tae pass some time.

Tam, ah rekkon ye huv went aff the topic therr.

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Did ye know that Paul Maxwell, the voice o' Steve Zodiac in Fireball XL5, laytur played Steve Tanner in Corrynayshin Street?

They creatit the character o' the Amerrykin sojur who hud been a war-time luvver o' Elsie Tanner, ur whitiver hur maiden name wid huv been et that time, so that, when he came back tae Weatherfield, (in the late 1960's), he cood marry Elsie. This allowed thum tae marry hur aff withoot chainjin hur name fae Tanner, as she wiz such an important karaktur.

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Coronation Street:

Having watched a number of installments i have come to the conclusion that it isnae/wasnae as guid as "Kick the Dead Donkey".

Oh dear, cannae compare oranges and apples...so...it isnae/wasnae near as guid as "High Road".

tam

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I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food.

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Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food.

Mibbes coz ye cannae read, an' thot it wiz tins o' stew.

Mibbes coz ye wur shoppin fur an elderly naybur who huz a dug.

Mibbes coz yoo like the stuff.

Mibbes coz ye realised that, by coverin it in enuff HP Sauce, ye kin feed it tae ra weans an' save a forchoon.

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